This book kinda felt like a more fucked up version of Emily Henry’s books The People We Meet on Vacation which I really liked.
I have heard a lot of good things about Sally Rooney and this is the first of hers I have read. TBH I was expecting a little more from her from all the build up over the years of seeing her name so this felt a little overhyped. Although, obviously I still liked the book enough.
Two people are on and off for several years but not like actually together until the very end of the book where they actually get together but oops, one of them ends up moving to America for work or school or something and it ends with that kind of thing where you get to speculate if they end up together or not one day.
This is literally the easiest and fastest way for me to tell you about this book, it really doesn’t need much else. Also as always, I am so so tired.
Maybe I will use this moment to ramble while I have got you here because why now. Funny thing though is that I don’t feel like I have too much to say but I think that is more due to the fact that I have had the weirdest sleeping schedule of my life these last two weeks. And by of my life I mean pretty regular due to what theater makes me do.
I love theater and I love that it mostly happens in the evenings. Getting to stay up late is fun and getting to sleep in is even more fun but sometimes you stay up wayyyyyy too late and then sleep in until mid afternoon and then have to go to work where you listen to an orchestra and it makes things hard.
Also unfortunately for me, I have just been sitting at work looking at my phone during rehearsals all week so I am really tired of looking at that thing.
And with all this complaining you would think I didn’t like my job but this is the thing that makes me the happiest. A form of suffering for the craft that I can get by with (right now at least, who knows how long my body will be willing to put up with this shit).
All this is in Oklahoma though. I feel like at this point there is almost no theater for me and I want to give up on it. I am mostly working as a dental assistant and like damn I make quite a bit of money on it but it is really not what I want to be doing with myself. I miss theater and I miss my friends.
One of the big goals I have in my life though is to have a place to myself. Even if it is small, I really want to live in a place that is only mine. I feel like I would really be able to learn something about myself too if I were to be able to do that. Like when it comes down to it, how clean am I? Or organized. If I am living alone, do I do a good job putting away things like my laundry or dishes? If it is my own kitchen and I am the only one who is cooking, will I actually cook? And if I do, will I clean up right away. Or will I get lazy and put off those things since it will just be me and my cat?
And I can’t do this in Colorado, I don’t feel like there is room for me to grow like the way I want to. I don’t think it would even be possible for me to get a tiny studio apartment alone. While on the other hand, I can spend the same amount of money for a one bedroom apartment in Oklahoma in a somewhat decent part of town.
I don’t like the dance here though. Or the politics. And also I don’t like the place I temp for as a dental assistant. They suck. Like no care in the world for me and who I am as a person. I would want to try someone else or maybe even just be on my own and go around to offices but that also seems like a lot of work on my part.
So we will see what happens to me. I have work in Oklahoma every month for the next several months and I will feel it out.
I feel like I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place right now with no way out. I don’t enjoy feeling so unmotivated to make a real decision but I am just running in circles at this point and it. is. so. exhausting.
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