It is really making me laugh that the things people read the most are my personal posts. Like y’all really don’t give a shit about the books I read and write about. I am funny guys but all you’re reading is the depressing stuff.

Maybe I should write more funny things about my personal life too so that way I am not a complete basket case, but I guess that isn’t as entertaining either.

Although, when I think about writing about the fun stuff in my life, I get a little sad because I don’t really have too much of that happening right now. I am mostly at home watching something and crafting.

I have been crafting my ass off for the holiday though. For some stupid reason (money), I have decided that I will be making all my gifts this year. So that means I locked myself into making at least 13 different things in 5 weeks. I am pleased to say that I have finished 7 of the projects so only 6 more to go. With all this time I have had on my hands lately I feel like I will succeed in this hell I have put myself in.

Like, I crochet so much in the span of 3 days that my arms were sore and I had to take 2 days off before I could get back to it.

It is fun to see the big pile of crochet items sitting on my shelves, it makes me feel nice to have all that I have accomplished sitting in front of me.

Lately I have been taking pictures of the random things around me. I have been using my film camera, which has been my preferred form of photography in the past year and a half.

When I was taking pictures with my digital camera, they just felt meaningless. I could point and snap as many pictures as I wanted and would get the results instantly. There is something about using film that changes the way I feel and the way I shoot things.

I feel like I cherish the photos I take more with a film camera. After all, every shot is worth something. There is the cost of the roll of film, then the cost of developing and scanning them, and last the time it takes to go through and find the good ones and editing them for better color or exposure.

There is a lot more thought that goes into all my shots. I think a lot, will this be worth it?

Although the value of exposures changes based on what camera I am shooting on. My 35mm camera can get up to 36 exposures but the different medium format camera I have can drastically vary. Out of the three I have it varies from 8, 12, and 15.

So some photos can be as expensive as $5/exposure and as cheap as $1.20/exposure. But even though the price can really rise, it makes me cherish what I get to do more.

But like I said earlier, lately I have been shooting the random things around me. I have been trying to ground myself lately in my surroundings. Sometimes that is a messy shelf in my room or the way the lights twinkle on the tree in my house.

Whose to say if any of these will turn out once I get them developed but I hope that I can still find the peace and moments of joy in those shots that I felt as I was taking them.

I miss photography. I haven’t really gotten my cameras out in months. I was so stuck trying to keep this guy that I gave up my hobbies. I didn’t go anywhere and I didn’t have the motivation to be creative.

Right now, I am starting small with the things around me, buy maybe I will get out there again and find more little joys in the world I can capture.

I have included a lot of my favorite photos from the past two years. There are a lot of friends and a lot from the places I have been. Some aren’t in focus and I won’t say any of that is on purpose but I think there is a beauty in those unfocused photos. And now, I am gifting this part of my heart to you.